Day 2 without Buddy

I lost a friend, a very best friend and today's the second day without him.

There is really no such thing as ready. Eventhough I'm starting to accept that he's gone for real, sometimes I still hope he'll be wagging his tail and run around the house, waiting for food as usual. That's just to cover up my sadness, to cover up my anger for losing him. I can't forget the moment of his last breath, his cold hand and feet, the moment we wrapped him up, the moment he was covered. I just can't do it right now.

I woke up early this morning because that's the time you were gone yesterday and cried, knowing that I really won't be seeing you anymore. I was alright when I was at work. I laughed, I joked and I'm really thankful to have all my colleagues that love me. I became not ok when I got home.

When I was in bad mood, when I reached home I would went in straight to the house without even touching you. But you never once ignore me. Without fail, you'll sat right outside the driver's door waiting for me. I'm really sorry for that. If only I know God is gonna take you away so soon, I swear I would have love you more. Much much more.

When I got back from dinner just now. You were not at your usual spot. That makes my heart even sore. Very naturally everyone in the family would turn off the headlight when entering the house because we know you got cataract and it'll hurt you eyes. I wish you were still there so I can turn off the light. It became part of my habit.

I went to your "grave" and talk to you. I'm not sure if you can hear me but I just want you to know that please go to the light if you see it. I know you miss us and we miss you alot too.. We'll be alright and we just want you to be happy.