Selfish

I was fired before I knew I was expecting a junior, I'm currently 15 weeks, I'm bored staying at home, I cannot get a job because no one will take in a pregnant woman.

All I'm asking is to for a 1 week break back to the place I grew up for some cravings that couldn't satisfy me here and before my tummy is too big to travel.

I know it requires you to take a few days of your already negative annual leave but isn't marriage is about compromising? I wont be seeing my family and go back to my hometown until next year and this is really important to me.

You will never understand how I felt because this is your home and everyone related to you are here..

I will not

I have to write this down somewhere. I don't want it to be in my heart thought I know it always will. At least a part of it will be here forever.

I'm not telling what and who and how and when but all I want to say is, all my life I never knew what it feels like to hate someone because I don't like the feeling hatred and I believe everything can be forgiven and find its own solution.

I will never forgive and forget what you've done. I thought you were nice. Yes you were but only under certain circumstances. I saw the other side of you and I saw an evil person.

Thank you for being the first. I will never be the same because of you. You made me realised how evil and fake a person can be. You made the most important day in my life less perfect when it should have been perfect.

You will never replace anyone in my life because you are not them and you never will be.

I was taught not to hold grudge towards anyone but trust me, this is the only grudge I will hold till the day I step into my grave.